Undefeated in the stands

[HighLevel]

During my brief tenure on this board I've come to the conclusion that there are parents, players, fans, uncles, aunts and COACHES that participate in discussions regarding the MD/DC/VA area. My question is directed towards COACHES mainly but I'm interested in everyone's opinion. I'm almost certain that all coaches have experienced this at some point in their career.

How do you deal with parents/fans/aunts/uncles/cousins that coach kids from the stands?

Everyone in the stands has an undefeated record. Whether they under mind a coach during the game or they make negative comments about the coach, team or teammates on the way home it ultimately affects and influences the player. What's the right way to deal with it?

[michaeliceman]

I send out this little e-mail before the season and whenever the need arises:

"The Coaches understand that it is hard not to provide guidance when watching our children compete. All parents naturally want the most and best out of our children. However, all parents of athletes must draw the line between parent and coach. As coaches, we have learned that, during the game, it is best for the coaches to criticize and teach and the parents to encourage. The most confusing things for girls to hear from the stands are "Shoot it!" or "Pass to Girl X!" What happens is that the girls will follow these specific orders from Mom or Dad no matter what play is called, etc. Criticism from the stands also sends the wrong message. Kids react differently to criticism from Mom and Dad and they will likely lose focus at that point. So parents should strive to maintain a positive, fan-only attitude while watching the game.

Also, there will be times where you do not agree with the way a game was coached. We welcome constructive feedback and criticism, but please do not offer it immediately after a game (especially after a loss) or in front of the kids. We ask that you give the Coaches (and yourselves) 24 hours to evaluate the game before approaching us with “suggestions.”"

If this does not work, I have a parents' meeting that is more pointed. Hey, but I also tell the kids that their parents do not determine playing time and when they are on the floor, I am the one to listen to.

[fhire]

I send out this little e-mail before the season and whenever the need arises:

"The Coaches understand that it is hard not to provide guidance when watching our children compete. All parents naturally want the most and best out of our children. However, all parents of athletes must draw the line between parent and coach. As coaches, we have learned that, during the game, it is best for the coaches to criticize and teach and the parents to encourage. The most confusing things for girls to hear from the stands are "Shoot it!" or "Pass to Girl X!" What happens is that the girls will follow these specific orders from Mom or Dad no matter what play is called, etc. Criticism from the stands also sends the wrong message. Kids react differently to criticism from Mom and Dad and they will likely lose focus at that point. So parents should strive to maintain a positive, fan-only attitude while watching the game.

Also, there will be times where you do not agree with the way a game was coached. We welcome constructive feedback and criticism, but please do not offer it immediately after a game (especially after a loss) or in front of the kids. We ask that you give the Coaches (and yourselves) 24 hours to evaluate the game before approaching us with ?suggestions.?"

If this does not work, I have a parents' meeting that is more pointed. Hey, but I also tell the kids that their parents do not determine playing time and when they are on the floor, I am the one to listen to.

Terrific Idea!! I use to do much the same except I would have a parent meeting.
________
Ship Sale (http://ship-sale.com/)

[DALIST]

If you want to coach your child, then you can have them!...No child is worth the stress and agony of the program! Parents within my program fully understand that they should remain as calm as possible! Especially during a lost! The parents meetings really help! They map out what's expected of both parent & child.

[Coach CFerg]

Coaches and Parents meeting before the season, I let them know let me coach and u continue to encourage(positiveonly). If you are not happy with my coaching , you can transfer her/him . No hard feelings, if i can help find a new school i will.

[HighLevel]

So has anyone had a situation where one of your players have changed? Change meaning they are doing uncharacteristic things or just seeming to move outside of your structure which they were once apart of. This type of behavior is sometimes a result of negative comments by a parent outside of the team environment whether it's communicated directly or indirectly to the player. How do you deal with that?

[intelligenthoodlum]

A girl is going to AT LEAST acknowledge the rantings of a parent, ESPECIALLY of a father, and ESPECIALLY if he was/is her primary basketball trainer. After all, he IS "daddy".
Even deeper, daddy is the one she has to ride home with who's going to do the most beefing; he's the moneybags, the primary giver of a vehicle, the one who gives the ultimate yes-or-no to the club visits.
The girl ain't gonna try to get HIM too twisted, by ignoring him--before, during, OR after a game...

[smokeyhip]

So has anyone had a situation where one of your players have changed? Change meaning they are doing uncharacteristic things or just seeming to move outside of your structure which they were once apart of. This type of behavior is sometimes a result of negative comments by a parent outside of the team environment whether it's communicated directly or indirectly to the player. How do you deal with that?

Yes I have had this situation. IH is right the primary problem in my case was the father. As a freshmen this young lady showed the potential to be a player. I brought her up from JV during mid-season. In a short time span she became a starter (terrible team talent), she had a productive year and at the end of the season I heard that her dad was shopping her around (Carroll).To make this story shorter she played her best season in HS during her Sophomore season. During this season during games the DAD would yell across the gym at her during games he even yelled one time during a time out " Now is not the time for instruction that should take place during practice." This statement was directed at my Asst. Coach who was trying to show her how to keep the defender in front of her, amazingly he liked her I thought ( he hated me).
Of course we had many meetings to no avail. She ended up being a very selfish player who thought she was better than everyone else that she played with. She was critical of players in her actions and even had a terrible augment with our center after a loss. In this arugument she stated that the center would never be a player in college. I unfortunately broke it up before my center (who was tough) kicked her butt.
Ironically, that center ended up playing in college for four years, 5 other players that she played with either are now playing in college or will be next season. GUESS WHAT? She never did.......:eek:

Oh I had to come back and add this. During a playoff game while going after a loose ball the opposing teams big girl stepped on her while she was on the floor (not intentional at all). The Dad come out of the stands onto the court and cusses the ref who was standing by as the play continued (which is the rule). He never once went to his child to see or ask how she was doing I know this because I watched the tape at least 10 times hoping I was wrong. What does that tell you about this DAD?